When I’m certain that it’s foreplay that is going to lead up to eventually closing the deal, I really do enjoy an extended period of making out on the couch or wherever.
However if you make it clear that you have no intention of having sex, I’m always glad to sit and snuggle an watch TV or listen to tunes or whatever…. even a back rub and making out for a little while is fine.
But I can only take so much setup without any punchline.
You know what it’s like? It’s just like, or what I’m trying to say is….. I mean to make an analogy or perhaps in order to make it clearer to you by saying that In my humble opinion without being obtuse….and to be as precise as I can without leaving a clear opportunity for any sort of misunderstanding or rather to be perfectly frank and not mince my words……See what I’m saying?
Once again the summer Olympic games are upon us and I for one could not be more excited, because I just cant go more than four years without knowing things like
what country leads the world in performance enhancing drug masking technology
and who can throw a cannonball with a chain attached the farthest,
otherwise I am unable get any decent sleep.
It’s a little known bit of sports trivia that I was once a favorite to win a gold medal at the Olympics were it not for the fact that
I am about as athletically gifted as an average preschooler that has downed three shots of vodka, and the only thing I ever got out of lifting weights is
sweaty and bored out of my skull.
So like the rest of the world I am forced to live vicariously through someone else’s child and take comfort in knowing that the guy who
can use a big stick to go higher off the ground than any other guy on the planet, rests upon the shores of the nation where I also happen to live my nearly exercise free life.
And what better place to hold the Olympics could there possibly be than jolly old England because spending a half a billion Euros on celebrating sixty years of the hottest English monarch named Elizabeth since Elizabeth the first, in the face of the worst economic crisis in a half century, is just not enough pointless pomp and ceremony to keep their minds off the fact that they are totally screwed.
At the risk of sounding like I’m condescending (that means talking down to someone)
let me point out that Aerospace Maintenance Technicians are required to have a detailed understanding of subjects like gravity and science and stuff,
therefore dozens of my imaginary readers have asked me to explain what the Higgs boson particle is and why finding one in Switzerland is such a big deal as to get a quick mention on the news right after the ten minute in depth piece about Justin Bieber getting a speeding ticket.
Because my job depends on gravity, I have to keep up on all the latest gravity research.
To tell you the truth I’m kinda miffed at the whole lab-coat-wearing-super-brainiac
“I’m still smarter than you just like in high school” guys because instead of using the far superior and descriptive name “Gravitron” that I suggested for the new particle,
they named it after some lab-coat-wearing-super-brainiac that made a lucky guess back in the 60′s, just because it turns out he was right.
One thing about this discovery is that you know it’s on the level because,
it was not conducted in the USA where a majority of us think that science is a huge Mason conspiracy to convert everyone into Satanic, gay and lesbian vegans.
The “so called” Higgs boson particle is the fundamental particle responsible for anything such as an anvil or a kumquat or a planet having mass.
And don’t be fooled by that term “mass” because it has nothing to do with attending catholic church services.
The scientific kind of mass is what makes gravity attracted to everything, and I’m sure I don’t have to explain that without gravity a speeding ticket would be the least of Justin Bieber’s worries.
So the more mass something has, the more gravity it takes to keep it stuck to the earth,and of course we keep on making more and more really heavy stuff like cars and buildings and anvils.
So it goes without saying that should we run out of the worlds supply of gravity before we figure out how to make more of these “so-called” Higgs boson particles,
we’re going to have to do something drastic like cover the earth with Velcro.